Th1rteen R3asons Why
by TheFlyingGraysons
Summary: Kendall is heartbroken when Jo commits suicide. A few weeks after her suicide, he receives a package outside his door with a note. A note from Jo Taylor, his dead girlfriend. Inside the box are her thirteen reasons why.
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Big Time Rush or Th1rteen R3asons Why (if I spelt that wrong Im sorry lol)**

* * *

**Prologue**

Jo took a deep breath and took one last look at Kendall sleeping on her couch. She traced his face longingly, stopping on his lips. He stirred ever so slightly in his sleep, and she bent to place a soft kiss on his lips one last time.

He didn't wake up. She thought he might, but he didn't. She guessed it was a good thing because then he would have stopped her, but a part of her wished he could hold her and tell her everything was okay.

But that was a lie. Kendall is wonderful to her, and she couldn't ask for anything better in a boyfriend. Yes, he was blind to what was happening to her, yes he didn't see the marks she ever so carefully covered up, but he is one of the most caring people she had ever known. Always worrying about others so that he doesn't focus on his own problems. Hardly anyone ever saw him break down.

Jo had seen him break down only once during the entire they had dated, the entire three years. It hurt her to see him so broken, and she had managed to make him happier, and one thing lead to another, and the next thing she knew they both were closer than either had been with any other person. But maybe Kendall would be happier with her gone, without her dragging him down.

With a sigh, Jo stroked Kendall's hair one last time, and walked through her door for the last time, then through the lobby giving Bitters a glance, long enough to see he was asleep at the desk.

Jo walked out of the Palm Woods, knowing she would never see it again. It felt good knowing she would no longer have to deal with everything she had been putting up with for a long time.

Peacefully Jo walked down to the bridge and looked down into the black murky looking water. Cars were just starting to become rush hour, and the sun was just peeking over the sky. It was beautiful. For the second time that day, Jo doubted is she should do this. Maybe, just maybe life could get better. But hadn't Jo been telling herself that for awhile now? Hadn't she been hoping for a long time that life would get better? Yet it had not gotten better. Jo had already sent out the DVDs. The person she had given copies to would know by now exactly what to do if they didn't get sent out.

She sat on the edge of the bridge, legs dangling dangerously over the side. While she unlocked her phone, ignoring the hate messages from Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, plus text messages, she texted Kendall one last time, then set her phone down.

_I love you. -Jo_

Then she pushed off into the water.


	2. Chapter 1

***Bold****mean its on the DVD**.

_*Italics means its Jo's memory._

* * *

Kendall stumbled to the door of 2J, hearing the doorbell ring incessantly for over two minutes, rubbing his blurry eyes. As he was halfway to the door, it stopped ringing. Annoyed, Kendall opened the door, ready to look down the hallway and cuss out whoever it was that had woken him up, and almost stepped on a brown package. Mildly curious, he reached down and picked it up.

His name was scribbled messily on top. Eyebrows raised, Kendall took the package inside 2J, shut the door and went into his room. The rest of the guys were out and Mama Knight had taken Katie out clothes shopping for a little bit, according to the note he had seen taped to the fridge. He set the package down on his bed and walked out to the kitchen and grabbed a box opener, plus a box of colorful Goldfish and an apple, then headed back to his room.

He sat down on his bed and opened the box, then frowned in confusion. There was a folded note on top of a DVD, but that was all that was in it. Kendall picked up the note and read it. The handwriting sent a jolt of pain through him, although he wasn't sure why. The handwriting was familiar, although he just couldn't place it.

_If you received this note, that means you were part of the reason I committed suicide. There is 13 reasons, and if your lucky Thirteen, guess what? You get to keep these DVDs and take them straight to hell._

_Maybe I'll see you there, depending on your religion._

_There is only two rules to this. First, you listen. Second, after you listen, send them to the next person on the list. If you choose not to, they will be released to the public by the person i have chosen as the "keeper of the DVDs", so to speak. _

_I hope neither one will be easy for you._

_Now I'm sure by now you're curious, maybe some of you are delusional and put what you've done to me out of your minds. Good thing I made this huh? Now you all will understand just what kind of people you have been living with. Put the DVDs in, oh, and don't forget. Have fun._

_Sincerely dead,_

_Jo Taylor._

Kendall dropped the note in shock. He felt like he was about to throw up. What was going on? Was this some kind of a sick joke? Shakily, Kendall reached in and touched a DVD. He picked it up and saw Jo's writing again. _Reason #1 _was written in her curly writing. He ran a hand through his floppy hair. Was he really about to see what the heck it was?

He reached over on his bedside table and grabbed the portable DVD player he received for Christmas last year from Kelly, turned it on and set the disk in it. it took a few seconds to load, but then there was a hand adjusting the screen.

**"Okay, that's better." Jo's voice played out of the speakers, and she backed away from the screen to show her sitting on her bed wearing purple shorts and a white over sized tank top with a smiley face printed on it.**

**She looked at the screen, and it seemed like she had been crying. She wiped her nose and rubbed her eyes, then sniffled. "So, I'm making these videos to document all the shit that I have been going through. I decided that if everything gets to be too much, I will kill myself. And I will have these to document why I did it."**

**She grabbed a tissue and wiped her eyes. "So, I guess this will be my first reason. Reason #1. Jennifer 2."**

**Jo reached behind her, grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest. "So, I went down to the pool today with Camille, and I noticed people staring at us. I of course had no idea why, and even Camille noticed."**

_"Jo, do you know why they're staring at us?" Camille asked me, and I shrugged._

_"No idea." I walked over and sat down on a pool chair, and Camille sat down in the one next to me. _

_We were both just settling in our seats when Dak Zevon walked over. Me and Camille exchanged wide eyed glances of shock because Dak was pretty hot, and he didn't walk over and talk to just anyone._

_"Hey Jo." Dak smirked._

_"Um... Hey Dak." I smiled, slightly confused as to why he was talking to me._

_"So, how much you pay?" He asked, still smirking. The little crowd that had followed him snickered._

_"Uh, what?" I was really confused now._

_"You know, how do you pay? We know all about the prostitution you do when Kendall aint here." He laughed in her face this time, as did the rest of the people._

_I felt my mouth drop open. "I dont do that! Who said I did that?!" I demanded, getting up from the chair._

_"Jennifer two." Dak laughed again. "Wonder what Kendall will think once he hears about his little whore girlfriend cheating on him every time he leaves town."_

_I felt tears prick my eyes. "I dont do that! She lying!"_

_Camille stood up next to me. "Jo would never do anything like that, so why dont you all just walk away leave her alone."_

_Dak laughed. "Okay Camille, whatever you say. I'm so scared."_

_With that they walked away._

_I turned to Camille, tears starting to poke out. "everyone thinks I'm a whore, and it's all her fault. I'm going to go find her and find out what her damn problem is."  
_

_I stormed away, ignoring Camille's shouts, and found Jennifer 2 sitting in the lobby, talking to Jennifer 3._

_She saw me coming and said something to Jennifer 3, who then walked away. __She was smirking when I walked up._

_"Whats your deal? Why the _fuck _did you tell everyone that I was a prostitute when Kendall was out of town?" I angrily asked her, longing to slap the smirk off her face.  
_

_"Because, once word gets around to Kendall, do you _really_ think he's going to want to date you? No, he's going to be heartbroken and guess who will be there to comfort him? Me! It's really a genius plan you know." She laughed cold-heartedly in my face._

**"I'm sure you've all seen that odd little half crescent scar on Jennifer 2's cheek. Guess what Jennifer? You'll have that little reminder of what you drove me to. Sure, you're only a part of what happened, but you're still a fucking reason. But guess what Jennifer? Your a fucking bitch, and now everyone will know it! You're truly a _fucking bitch_! And goddamn, it feels fucking _great_ to say that, and know your going to hear it, but you wont be able to do shit about it! So fuck you Jennifer, and I hope you burn in hell! But lets continue with the story, huh?" Jo cleared her throat.  
**

**"So, after I beat the shit out of her, and no one helped her because she sent off the one dumb bitch who would have helped her, I demanded more answers." Jo continued.**

_"Why would you do this to me? What have I done to you?" I cried, feeling slight satisfaction as she cradled her precious face I had just whaled on._

_She snapped her head up, her eyes full of hate. "Because bitch, you don't deserve Kendall one bit! I do! You think I'm the bad guy? Look at what you just did to me!" She spit, her voice full of venom._

_All of a sudden, her face changed. It crumpled and she started crying. "Jo, why would you hurt me? What did I do?" She cried, sniffling and making a show out of it._

_I was confused. She knows exactly what she did to me! I opened my mouth to tell her so when I felt a hand clap down on my shoulder. I turned to see Bitters standing behind me with a grim expression._

_"Jo Taylor, you're going to have to come with me. Jennifer, you should probably head to the doctor. That looks pretty bad." Bitters tightened his grip on my shoulder and led me to his office._

_When Jennuifer passed me, she smirked, and flipped me off. But Bitters didn't see._

**"And so, because of you Jennifer, I was almost kicked out of the Palmwoods today. If it wasnt for my agent, I would be packing. And if Kendall breaks up with me because of this, I swear... You wont like what happens. Kendall is the only good thing in my life right now." Jo wiped her eyes again, and set her pillow down.**

**"That is why Jennifer 2 is Reason #1." With that, Jo walked up to the camera and her hand filled the view, and then it was shut off.**

**Text filled the screen, and it read _Insert Reason #2.__  
_**

Kendall was numb. He had just seen Jo when he though he would never see her again, and the reason he saw her was because she was explaining the reasons behind her suicide. He rubbed a hand over his face, and looked back into the box. Sure enough, there was about twelve more DVDs in there. He felt so drained and numb.

Taking out his phone, he checked the time. About a half hour went by with just that one DVD. The guys and his mom and Katie should be back soon. Kendall took out the DVD and put it back in the case it came in. Before he could put in Reason 2, he heard the door open and the sounds of his mom, sister and the guys laughing. He quickly shoved the box under his bed and threw his covers over the DVD player.

Kendall walked out and greeted his friends, mom and sister, and then sat down at the counter.

"How are you Kendall?" Mama Knight asked, taking out stuff to make spaghetti, her voice softening as she talked to her oldest child.

"Alright." Kendall shortly replied. He didn't need his mom worrying about him, but he couldn't exactly think about much being he just say the first of thirteen DVDs Jo had made explaining her reasons as to why she killed herself.

What Kendall couldn't understand was why he had gotten the tapes, being that the only people that were on it were people had caused her suicide, so if the tapes got sent to him, that must mean that... Oh God. Kendall felt sick to his stomach and the room started to spin.

James seemed to notice because he stopped talking to Carlos and put an hand on his arm. "You okay Kendall?"

Kendall left the table and made it to the bathroom before he threw up. He heard someone running in and felt his mom's comforting hand on his back.

"Kendall, sweetie whats wrong?" His mom sounded so worried Kendall couldn't help but feel bad.

He got up, flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth out with water quickly. He groaned.

"Will you be okay Kendall? Do you think you need to go to the doctor?" His mom questioned, sounding more worried by the minute.

"I don't need to go to the doctor. I just need to lay down for a little bit." Kendall assured her, feeling sick still.

Mama Knight watched him with worried eyes. "Alright, I'll call to you when dinners done, you can decide if you'll be well enough to eat then, okay Kendall?"

He nodded, and walked into his room and shut the door behind him. He sat down on his bed, took out the DVDs, got the DVD player, and took a deep breath before putting in Reason #2.

* * *

_**Hiii c: This is my first BTR fanfic, and I decided to do this because i loved Thirteen Reasons Why, and this idea came to me so I decided why not do it haha... **_

_**Tell me what you thought in a review, next chapter will be up by at least Saturday, possibly Sunday, maybe tomorrow. **_

_**~TheFlyingGraysons**_


	3. Chapter 2

**Still don't own BTR or Th1rteen R3asons Why so yehh don't sue...**

* * *

***Bold ****means its on the DVD**.

_*Italics means its Jo's memory._

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**_"Will you be okay Kendall? Do you think you need to go to the doctor? His mom questioned, sounding more worried by the minute._**

**_"I don't need to go to the doctor. I just need to lay down for a little bit." Kendall assured her, feeling sick still. _**

**_Mama Knight watched him with worried eyes. "Alright, I'll call to you when dinner is done, you can decide if you'll be well enough to eat then, okay Kendall?"_**

**_Kendall nodded, and walked into his room and shut the door behind him. He sat down on his bed, took out the DVDS=s, got the DVD player, and took a deep breath before putting in reason #2._**

* * *

Kendall got up and locked his door while the disc was loading, then hurried to sit back down.

Like last time, first you saw her hand adjusting the camera, and then she stepped away and sat on her chair instead of the bed. This time, she was wearing a pair of black sweatpants and a gray tee shirt, and she looked drained.

**Jo cleared her throat, and got more comfortable on the coach. "So, before I tell you who reason two is, I'd like to explain a few things."**

**Her eyes flashed with anger. "I have never prostituted myself and I would never cheat on Kendall. I love him, and I know I'm worthless and don't deserve him. I don't need people to keep telling me this. And if you're wondering why I made DVDs to explain, it's because I _want _ you to see just how much you've destoryed me. I want you people to feel just exactly what the fuck you did to me." Her voice broke a little on the end.**

**"Now, onto Reason 2," Jo coughed into her arm. "Travis, the pretend boyfriend. I know some of you may not remember him, but I had him pretend to date me for twenty bucks." Jo rolled her eyes. "But the dumb fucker couldn't even remember his damn name." **

**"So I would like to state right now that all we did was pretend to date. We didnt kiss, we hardly even held hands. So don't believe the fucking rumors he spread around about us making out and me letting him feel me up. I did _not _do anything like that, and I would never being I hardly knew the guy. So guess what Travis? Thanks for making me out to be even more of a slut then I already look like! Guess I prostitute and do that shit, huh?!" Jo screamed, throwing her arms out. She rubbed her forehead and calmed herself down. "You had no right spreading rumours like that about me around. So fuck you Travis. Fuck you."**

**"You might be wondering how I found this out. Well you know, I didn't think anyone was expecting to see Stephanie King here again."**

_I walked out into the lobby, and looked around to see if Kendall was there. Sadly, he wasn't. I turned to go back to my room when I saw Stephanie King, the girl who pulled a ghost prank and made a movie out of it, talking to Miss Collins, the Palm Woods teacher. _

_"Hey Stephanie!" I called to her after Miss Collins walked away._

_She turned around and smiled. "Hey Jo! How are you?"_

_"I'm alright, what are you doing back here?" I asked, walking over to her._

_"I decided to move here. I want to get into bigger movies, and the Palm Woods is a pretty great place to be. Plus, the guy I like lives here." Stephanie blushed slightly._

_I raised my eyebrows. "Ooh, who is it?"_

_"Carlos." She giggled like a little schoolgirl._

_"Aww, that"s sweet." I aw'ed, smiling._

_"Yeah, He's so adorable, and really cute." Stephanie gushed._

_I laughed. "Hey, I'm not doing anything later, so maybe we could do something."_

_"Sure! That'd be great. How about we meet down here at like, six?"_

_"Yeah. I'll see you then." I smiled and walked away. I didn't notice Travis standing nearby, close enough to hear our conversation._

_At six, I went back down to see Stephanie talking to Travis, who walked away once he saw me. I walked over to Stephanie._

_"Hey, why were you talking to Travis? I didn't know you two knew each other." _

_"Oh, we don't. He was just telling me about you." She snarled._

_I was taken back. Why was Stephanie acting so hostile towards me? "Um, what do you mean? _He_ barely knows me."_

_"Oh cut the act Jo. He told me about how you're dating Kendall, and Carlos at the same time! He even told me how you told Carlos that I liked him! You laughed and then he dumped you because he didn't want to date a whore anymore. You are just a two faced lying hoe!" After screaming all of that, while the lobby was full, Stephanie stormed off._

_I was left standing there, shocked. I didn't realize i was crying until I felt my wet cheeks. I hurried up to my room, and away from the lobby._

**Jo shook her head and looked at the camera. "And that would be how we ended up here. Me contemplating suicide, and well, if anyones watching this, realizing that hey! You caused a person to commit suicide! Do you care? Can you even live with yourself? How are you're friends going to feel? I know some people are going to most likely going to confront you in front of people. Then again, they're on here to. So what would give them the right to confront you?"**

**"So that was reason #2. Yeah, it's not as bad as the first one, but I just know it's going to start some shit. So thank you for starting what's sure to become a shit storm for me Travis." Jo laughed bitterly. "Why do I have such great guessing skills?"**

**Then Jo stood up and shut off the camera. _Insert Reason #3 _flashed across the sceen.**

Kendall took the DVD out and put it back in the case. When had Jo become so bitter? When had people began tormenting Jo? How had he not noticed? He was a horrible boyfriend. He didn't notice everything Jo had been going through, he even played a part in her suicide, otherwise he wouldn't have ever received the DVDs. So what had he done to make Jo want to kill herself?

Once Kendall found out, would he even be able to live with himself? Would he take the same way out that Jo had? Kendall was startled out of his thoughts by a knock on the door.

"Kendall? Sweetie, dinner's done. Are you going to come out and have some?" Kendall heard his mothers voice through the door.

Kendall thought about it for a minute, and then decided he may as well go out and have some spaghetti, not because he was hungry, but because he didn't need his mom to worry about him not eating and being depressed. she worried enough as it was. "Yeah mom, I'll be right out. Just hang on."

So Kendall tried but failed miserably to put the thoughts of Jo and the DVDs out of his head, so that he could try to enjoy dinner with his friends, mom, and sister.

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_**Oh my gosh thank you soooo much to Adolescent Olympian, Guest, Guest again, and November 2 1990 for reveiwing, and to Your Smile Makes My Day 123, xXSauceyAwesomenessXx, and Adolescent Olympian(again c:) for favoriting, and to AlyssaReane, Your Smile Makes My Day 123 (again c:), luckyblo0star, xXSauceyAwesomenessXx (again c:), and Adolescent Olympian (again again c:) for following!**_

_**You guys are awesome, I'm glad you liked it so far! I'm sorry haven't updated in so long, but my friend stayed over the entire weekend last week because of family stuff, and then I got sick, but wehey I'm better now C:**_

_**Sooo update will be WAAY sooner this time! I didn't really check through this, so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes :c**_

_**~TheFlyingGraysons**_


	4. Chapter 3

**Still don't own BTR or Th1rteen R3asons Why **

* * *

***Bold ****means its on the DVD**.

_*Italics means its Jo's memory._

* * *

_**Once Kendall found out, would he even be able to live with himself? Would he take the same way out that Jo had? Kendall was startled out of his thoughts by a knock on the door.**_

_**"Kendall? Sweetie, dinner's done. Are you going to come out and have some?" Kendall heard his mothers voice through the door.**_

_**Kendall thought about it for a minute, and then decided he may as well go out and have some spaghetti, not because he was hungry, but because he didn't need his mom to worry about him not eating and being depressed. She worried enough as it was. "Yeah mom, I'll be right out. Just hang on."**_

_**So Kendall tried but failed miserably to put the thoughts of Jo and the DVDs out of his head, so that he could try to enjoy dinner with his friends, mom, and sister.**_

* * *

Once Kendall was done eating, he decided to take a walk to clear his head. He needed to get the depressing thoughts out of his mind, and walking around for a little bit seemed like a good idea.

"Mom, I'm going to go out for a little bit. I'll be back later." Kendall told his mom, and walked out the door of 2J. He heard the door re-open behind him, annd turned to see James walking towards him.

"Mind if I come with you?" James asked, shaking his hair out of his eyes..

Kendall shrugged. "I don't care."

They walked in silence. Finally, Kendall had to ask if James had recieved the tapes.

"James, have you gotten anything weird in the mail lately?" Kendall asked, looking over at him. They walked through the lobby and out into the deserted pool area before James answered.

"Like what?" James looked down at his feet, not looking at Kendall.

"Like, DVDs or something?" Kendall blatantly asked, stopping by a cabana.

James stopped walking as well, and looked at Kendall. "Yeah."

Kendall felt his heart stop. His anger began to boil. What had James done to Jo? "What the fuck did you do to her?!" Kendall screamed, and started beating on James. "What did you do to her that put you in there?!"

James finally punched Kendall hard enough to make his nose bleed, and pushed him off before he could hit James even more. "Knock it off Kendall, I didn't do _anything_ to her! You're the asshole that-" James broke off what he was saying and looked away. Kendall was really starting to worry him. He never swore and normally didn't hit his friends. "Look, Kendall, what tape are you on?"

"What did I do to her James?" Kendall demanded, feeling light headed.

"What number are you on?" James asked again, this time looking at him.

"The next one is number three." Kendall said. "What did I do to Jo that made her... you know."

James looked sorry. "I can't tell you Kendall. You're going to have to find that out for yourself."

"Can you at least tell me what number I am?" Kendall pleaded, gripping James' shoulder.

"No, because then you'll skip all the rest of them and you need to hear all of the reasons Kendall. It isn't just you who did things, it was everyone on there." James told him comfortingly.

"But what did you do James? What did you do to Jo?" Kendall could feel his temper start to flare again.

"I already told you. I didn't do anything." James said.

"What does that mean?" Kendall demanded.

"You'll find out soon enough." James replied. "Do you want to head back?"

Kendall nodded, swallowing past the sudden lump in his throat. "Yeah. But we should probably get cleaned up first." Kendall gestured towards his bloody nose, and James' swollen cheek.

They quickly rinsed off their faces in the bathroom in the lobby, and started towards the elevator when Lucy walked over.

"Hey guys." Lucy smiled softly, almost guiltily, at them. "Kendall, how are you?"

Kendall stared blankly at her for a second. "Fine." He replied shortly, how did she think he was doing? He lost his girlfriend because she killed herself, and he was apparently one of the people that made her do it. Lucy might even be on the list. Just thinking about that made Kendall want to shake her until she gave him answers.

"James, is it okay if I talk to you quick?" Lucy asked, and James walked away with her after telling Kendall he would be right back.

Kendall watched as James and Lucy started talking outside by the pool for at least three minutes. It looked like a very heated conversation, they must have been arguing. Then Lucy hugged James, gave him a kiss, and they walked in. Lucy headed upstairs in the elevator and James walked back to Kendall.

"What did she want?" Kendall asked.

"She just wanted to know how you were really doing, and some other stuff." James said vaguely.

"I'm doing just fine." Kendall sarcastically replied, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, you're going to be okay Kendall. It may not seem like it, but I promise it will get better. You know me and the rest of the guys will always be there for you." James assured Kendall, he hated seeing his best friend, the strong one of Big Time Rush, so depressed.

"Yeah, whatever. So should we head back to 2J?" Kendall asked him, crossing his arms.

"Sure. You want to have the room to yourself tonight? I could probably get Logan to sleep in my room. Carlos wouldn't even question it. He worries about you Kendall." James said as they walked into the elevator.

"I don't want anybody to worry about me. I just want everything back to the way it used to be, when Jo was alive and things made sense." Kendall wiped angrily at his face, because a few tears slipped out. The elevator opened and he hurried to 2J, and went straight to his room, ignoring James' worried questions. He locked his bedroom door and sat down on his bed, grabbing the DVDs and player, which was becoming his normal routine, and checked the time. 7:30 PM. He and James were gone for about a half hour.

Kendall put in the next disc, and sat back down in his bed.

**Jo sat down on her bed, wearing a long sleeve blue shirt with jeans, with a mixture of anger and sadness on her face. **

**"Hi, it's me again! Hmm, wonder why I'm back here? Well this one strikes a bit more close to home!" Jo gushed sarcastically. "So here I am, checking my FaceBook, and happen to see I'm tagged in some photos. I click into them and guess what?! There I am, sitting in a hot tub making out with**** Dak while Jett, Logan, Carlos, and James are watching. Now when the fuck did I do that? I didn't. Some bitch photo shopped it to look like that! Now who did it you may ask?"**

**Jo smiled at the camera, a hollow look. "Reason number three everybody, the lying vindictive bitch, Lucy Stone!"**

**"Of course, at the time I didn't know who it was. So, I thought maybe those photo's were a fluke, you know, nobody will really acknowledge them, so I delete them immediately and go on about my day. I'm shook up of course, but I don't want anyone to know."**

_I walked down to the lobby, going to meet Camille. The minute I got down there I got a text from her._

_'hey jo, i cant hang out today. i got a last minute audition for a new blockbuster. i think i have a pretty good chance so ill call u later to talk about it. bye! xx camille.'_

_I groaned. Yeah, I'm glad Camille got an audition, I just really needed my friend. So I turned to go back up to my room because there was no way I was staying down here where most everyone thought that I was a hoe. The worst had blown over at least, so only a few people really ever said anything to me. I walked past the bulletin board where there was normally little adds like, lost shoe, missing phone, auditions for blah blah blah normally where taped up, to see they had been covered by pictures._

_The same pictures of me that I had deleted that morning. How did they end up in the lobby?! I yanked them down immediately, crumpled them up and threw them away. I thoroughly checked around the rest of the Palm Woods, just in case there was any more. There wasn't, thank god, so I went back to my room. I checked Facebook, and saw the pictures posted on my wall! The person who kept posting them was called 'Jo the slut'. How did I not notice that before? _

_I reported the person and deleted the pictures once again. Who keeps doing this to me? Who wants to ruin my reputation this badly? Questions like that kept running through my head. Why me?_

_At around 5:00 I decided to go to Kendall's to see what he was doing, maybe we could go see a movie or something fun. As I walked out my door, I saw the pictures again. This time they were taped to my door, and underneath them was a normal picture or me with the words 'slut', 'whore', 'nasty' written across my smiling face. I felt tears swell in my eyes as I ripped the pictures off and tore them into tiny little pieces. I shoved them into my purse so I could throw it all away later, and hurried to 2J. If the person who made these pictures put them on my door, what problem would they have putting them on Kendall's door?_

_As soon as I got to 2J I saw my suspicions were right. There plastered over the door, were the nasty pictures. I ripped them off and tore them up as well, and then shoved them in my purse. Just in time too, because walking towards me was Kendall and James. I turned and quickly wiped my tears away and smiled the best I could at them._

_"Hey guys!" I exclaimed once they approached, hugging Kendall._

_"Hey Jo." They responded, Kendall hugging me back._

_"We were just about to come get you, wanna see a movie with us and Lucy?" Kendall asked as we stopped hugging. _

_I smiled at him, and laced my fingers through his. "I'd love to."_

_We walked to Lucy's apartment, and James knocked on the door. Lucy opened it._

_"Hey guys, whats up? Wanna come in?" Lucy asked, so we walked in._

_Kendall and James started talking to her about the movie while I looked around. She had a pretty nice place. I saw something that intrigued me. I walked into a room that had a laptop set up with a printer hooked up to it. I looked at the paper lying in it. It was the gross photo-shopped pictures of me with the boys in the hot tub. My mouth dropped open. I happened to look over at the little table sitting my the computer, and saw the pictures of me that had whore, slut, bitch, nasty, and so on written on them._

_Lucy was the one who made the pictures._

_"I'll be out with Jo in one minute guys!" I heard Lucy yell to the guys as the door shut. She walked into the room I was in with a smirk on her face. "Like what you see Jo?"_

_I felt my anger shoot past hurt. "You bitch!" I seethed, and slapped Lucy across her smug face. From the look she had, she was _not_ expecting that. "Why would you do this to me? I thought we were friends!"_

_Lucy held a hand up to the cheek I smacked. "Because you're a dirty ass hoe who doesn't deserve Kendall. Neither does blonde Jennifer. I mean really? Spreading a rumor that has no proof. Dumb. But these pictures prove that you're a cheating slut. Once Kendall see's them, he won't want to date you. I don't want to date Kendall, I mean if he asked me out sure but that's not my goal herre with the pictures. I just really don't like you Jo. Kendall shouldn't have ever taken your sorry ass back."_

_"Are you fucking serious? Don't you even fucking understand what you're doing to me Lucy? Don't you get the real impact you're having on me? What you're making me do?" I screamed at her, tears falling. "This isn't a fucking game, this is my life, and people like _YOU_ are ruing it! I hate you!" _

_I wiped the tears falling, but they wouldn't stop. I pushed past Lucy and walked out the door. Kendall and James were shocked. Obviously they heard everything._

_"Jo, what happened?" Kendall hurried after me. "Are you okay?"_

_Down the hall I could hear Lucy talking hysterically to James. "She started flipping out, she slapped me look, and then she screamed at me, I thought she was going to kill me, I really did." _

_I just kept walking. Kendall walked with me. Finally we ended up at my apartment. "Jo, are you okay? What happened?"_

_I took a deep breath, and wiped the remainder of my tears off my cheeks. "It's a long story Kendall, I don't want to bother you with it. It's nothing you need to worry about. I never want to see Lucy Stone again for the rest of my life."_

_Kendall didn't pry for information, not that I would have given it to him in the first place. Eventually he went back to his apartment, and I threw away the bits and pieces of the pictures Lucy had made of me._

_I don't know how much more I can take._

**"And that is how Lucy Stone became reason number three. Because now everyone _does_ have 'proof' of my sluttiness. Now everyone does think I'm a slut. Because Lucy made a point. There isn't any proof in the rumor Jennifer was trying to sell off, but there is proof in a photograph." Jo wiped angrily at tears slipping down her cheeks.**

**She looked right at the camera. "Thank you Lucy. Do you see what you've done? Do you see that you made me want to die? If it weren't for Camille and Kendall, I wouldn't be here. But I guess if anyone's watching this, that means they both gave up on me." Jo wiped her remaining tears away, and shut off the camera.**

**_Insert reason 4 _flashed across the screen. **

Kendall rubbed a hand across his face. He remembered that day, he thought it really was nothing. Really, who would want to be mean to Jo? She's such a nice person. Well, she... was. Kendall blinked back the sudden desire to cry. He didn't cry. He was the strong of Big Time Rush. He wouldn't cry.

So Kendall took a deep breath, released it, and grabbed the next disc. But wait, Jo had said that if anyone was watching this, that meant that him and Camille had given up on her. But Kendall hadn't! So what was it that he did to Jo? He really couldn't remember doing anything. He got a sudden, sharp headache, and groaned. He decided to take some ibuprofen and then watch the next disc.

* * *

_**This update took longer than I thought, I'm sorry /)_(\**_

_**Because it took long, I'm going to work on the next chapter after I post this, and have it up by tonight or tomorrow. I promise, swear to god. Sooo keep an eye out for it, because it will maybe be out in a couple hours or less c:**_

**_Hugee cyber cookie to everyone who reviewed on last chapter! C: You guys are amazing haha c:_**

**_Do any of you guys like Teen Titans?_**

_**~TheFlyingGraysons**_


	5. Chapter 4

**Still don't own BTR or Th1rteen R3asons Why.**

* * *

***Bold ****means its on the DVD**.

_*Italics means its Jo's memory._

* * *

**Kendall rubbed a hand across his face. He remembered that day, he thought it really was nothing. Really, who would want to be mean to Jo? She's such a nice person. Well, she... was. Kendall blinked back the sudden desire to cry. He didn't cry. He was the strong of Big Time Rush. He wouldn't cry.**

**So Kendall took a deep breath, released it, and grabbed the next disc. But wait, Jo had said that if anyone was watching this, that meant that him and Camille had given up on her. But Kendall hadn't! So what was it that he did to Jo? He really couldn't remember doing anything. He got a sudden, sharp headache, and groaned. He decided to take some ibuprofen and then watch the next disc.**

* * *

Kendall put on a sweatshirt, took off his jeans to throw on sweatpants, and sat down on his bed. He pressed play and saw Jo once again in her room.

**"So, today I learned something new. Some people actually do believe rumors, even if they have known a person for a long time. They also can throw the rumor in your face, and well, that hurts. Makes you want to do _something_ to release your pain. So, maybe you turn to something you said you would never do, because its the same way you lost your sister." Jo started off.**

**"This will not be a very long video, mainly because I will have to go on to my next reason, for part of this to make any bit of sense to you. I'm certain now that I will be killing myself, because without Camille to hang on to, I only have Kendall. And well, if Camille has heard, and genuinely believed the rumors about me fucking every member of Big Time Rush behind Kendall's back, and about me just plain being a whore, then whose to say Kendall wont hear and believe the same things?" Jo raised an eyebrow.**

**"Now, reason number three, as you can guess, is someone who was my best friend, but she now hates my guts. Reason number three, Camille Roberts." Jo announced grandly, sweeping her arms out in front of her.**

**"Yesterday was actually pretty normal. I know guys, I know, I said that I would make these videos right after the incident happened! Well don't get mad at a dead girl here, that's kinda disrespectful, but I couldn't make the video because it was too much for me to deal with. So, I'm doing it right now, bright and early in the morning, before I go film another episode of New Town High. Huh, I wonder what they'll do when I kill myself. Will they just kill my character off? Will they have had her move to a different town? Who knows." Jo shrugged.**

**"Well, anyways. Yesterday was normal, until Camille flipped out on me."**

_Bang! Bang! I woke up, startled. When did I fall asleep? There was the banging noise again. I realized it was coming from the door. I got up, rubbing my tired eyes, and opened the door. Camille was standing there._

_"Hey Camille. Whats up?" I asked, yawning._

_"Oh whatever Jo. I know what you've been doing behind my back." Camille spit out, looking pissed off._

_"What do you mean?" I felt my heart go to my throat. Please god don't have her hate me._

_"I heard about what you've been doing! Guess what, you're going to wish you had never done it! You're going to wish you had never been born!" SHe screamed at me._

_I yanked her in my room and slammed the door shut. "What in the hell are you talking about Camille?" _

_"I heard everyone talking about it! You've been sleeping with every member of Big Time Rush! You've been cheating on Kendall with his best friends, and dating my boyfriend! I didn't believe it at first, but I asked around a bit more and come to find out you gave Logan a damn note with a picture of me making out with Dak Zevon! What the fuck is that about Jo?!" Camille demanded, swearing in her anger._

_"How could you believe that?! I haven't slept with anyone in Big Time Rush Camille, I'm still a virgin, you want to fucking check?" I screamed right back at her, getting pissed myself._

_Camille laughed rudely. "Oh, you'd like that wouldn't you? Just like how you tried making out with Lucy huh? Then you slapped her and freaked out! You're just a nasty ass hoe!"_

_I felt my heart break. "You know what Camille, I don't get you! I thought we were friends, I thought you knew better than to believe the rumors! DO you have any idea what the rumors have done to me? How they've made me feel? Do you know how close I've come to killing myself Camille!?" I yelled. Oh shit, I didn't mean for that to slip out._

_"Sure Jo, go ahead and kill yourself. Who in the _fuck _would care? Besides, You're too weak to do it anyways. It takes courage to do that." Camille stated, crossing her arms in front of her chest._

_I felt tears well up in my eyes. I guess I should be used to this, but Camille was a good friend of mine. I told her everything. "Camille, you don't really mean that do you?" I asked, surprising myself at how broken my voice sounded._

_"I do. I hate you Josephine Taylor!" Camille screamed, then stormed out of my room, slamming the door behind her. The slam of the door caused the photo I had hung of both of us smiling with our arms around each other to fall and break._

_How appropriate._

**"So, now I have no best friend. I have no one to confide to, no one to talk to. I can't lay all of this on Kendall, because he's so perfect, and I'm so... not. I really don't deserve him, and the minute he realizes that he will break up with me. I don't blame him, I would break up with me too." Jo wiped her eyes.**

**"Camille, I still don't understand why you would believe those rumors, I didn't do any of that." At this point, Jo started crying. "I just wanted one friend, and _nobody_ could let me fucking have that!" Jo screamed while crying. "I wanted one person, just one, and nobody could let me have it! Why? I don't fucking know! But it isn't fair!" Jo cried.**

**For awhile, Jo tried to get a hold of herself. Finally, she stopped crying. "I hope by now you people realize what it is you've done to me. I haven't had the best life. That part Camille said, about me ending up like my parents, it really hurt. You'll find out why." Jo shut the camera off.  
**

**_Insert reason #5 flashed across the screen._  
**

Kendall couldn't believe it. Camille had turned on Jo. She had believed the rumors. Why would Camille do that? Jo was her best friend. It didn't make sense. Kendall almost wished Lucy and Camille were boys so he could beat the fuck out of them for hurting Jo. But hadn't Kendall somehow hurt Jo? Obviously he did, otherwise, he wouldn't have gotten the tapes. Kendall decided to wait until morning before he entered reason 5.

The next morning, Kendall was woken up by a knock on his door. He groaned and rolled out of bed, checking the time. 7:30 AM.

"What?" he asked annoyed as he opened the door. His mom was standing there.

"Kendall, shower and get dressed. You and I are going someplace and we have to be there at eight." With that, his mom went into the kitchen.

"Why?" Kendall complained.

"Just get ready honey." Mama Knight called quietly to him.

With a groan, Kendall hopped in the shower, washed his hair and body quickly, threw on boxers, jeans, a black long tee shirt, white hoodie, and gray beanie. Walking out into the kitchen, he pulled on his high tops and sat down at the counter. His mom set down a plate of pancakes in front of him.

"Eat quick. We have to leave in ten minutes, it takes fifteen to get there." Mama Knight told him as she set down the pancakes.

Kendall ate the three pancakes, and put his plate in the sink. Walking with his mom, they headed out and got in the car.

"Kendall, I know you've been depressed lately, so I decided to take you to a therapist." Mama Knight told Kendall about five minutes into the car ride.

Kendall's mouth dropped open. "What?"

"I think it would be goo for you. It can help you get through what happened." His mom glanced at him. "We're here."

Kendall was still too shocked to protest.

Mama Knight signed Kendall in, and then a man about forty years old with dark skin and a beer belly walked out. "Kendall Knight." He announced, looking over the room.

Kendall slowly got up and walked to the man. _This _was the man he was supposed to talk to? He looked like he was forty, he wouldn't understand what Kendall was going through. The man led him down the hall and down a few corridors, until stopping in front of a room with tinted windows.

"Go in." The man said.

Kendall walked in to the room, expecting the man to follow him. But he didn't. Instead inside the room was a girl not much older than him who was very slender, had long caramel colored hair that reached past the middle of her back, dark blue eyes, a deep dimple that showed in her smile, and sparkling white teeth with dark red full lips. He felt his eyes widen.

"Hi, are you Kendall?" The girl got up and smoothed down her thigh length skirt, then held out her hand. "I'm Teagan Logan." She smiled brightly at him.

He shook her hand. It was really soft. "Yeah, I'm Kendall."

"It's nice to meet you." Teagan grinned at him. "Why are you here?"

Kendall rolled his eyes internally. Why is he here? Shouldn't she already know that? "I'm here because my mom thought it would be a good idea to bring me here."

Teagan laughed. "Kendall, that's not why you're here. Your mother was worried about you so she wanted you to talk to someone. From what she told me, you recently lost someone close to you?"

Kendall nodded. "Yeah. My girlfriend." He swallowed hard. It was still hard to talk about it, especially to people who didn't know what it was like.

"How did she die?" Teagan asked simply.

"She killed herself." Kendall flatly answered.

Teagan's eyes took on a look of sadness. "I see. Kendall, I am going to help you with what you're going through, I think it's best f we get some basic knowledge out of the way first. And believe me when I say, I know how you feel."

Kendall felt his anger bubble. One thing he hated was when someone who didn't understand what you were going through said they did. "You can't even begin to imagine what I'm fucking going through, so don't even try to say you do!" Kendall shouted angrily.

Teagan's eyebrows rose. "There's no reason for you to shout Kendall. I do know what you're going through."

"How would you?" Kendall demanded.

"Because when I was 14, my best friend killed herself. She cut her wrists and her parents didn't help her, in fact her parents were the reason that she killed herself. When I was 17, my boyfriend was killed in a car accident. I understand what it's like to loose someone, both due to suicide and accident." Teagan responded, messing around with the many bracelets she had stacked on her wrists.

Kendall felt slightly embarrassed and kinda bad. "Oh. I'm sorry for shouting at you."

"That's okay Kendall. I understand. Now, how about we talk about ourselves, get to know each other better. How old are you?" Teagan asked.

"Seventeen." Kendall responded.

"I'm nineteen. I know you're in Big Time Rush, but where were you born, where did you grow up at?" Teagan said.

"Wait, arent you a little young to be a therapist?" Kendall asked her.

"I graduated high school very early, and I took college classes during that time, so by the time I was eighteen I was able to take this job as a therapist."

"Oh. Well, I was born in Minnesota, and I grew up there with my best friends, James, Logan, and Carlos. We played hockey together and are best friends."

"You play hockey?"

"not as much anymore, because we normally have to record music, go on tour, make a new album, promote the album, and there's almost always something happening at the Palm Woods."

"What's it like at the Palm Woods? DO you like it there?"

"Its okay. I don't really like being there anymore because Jo... every time I go past somewhere we used to hang out, it's so painful. It's like she's so close to me, yet unreachable. It makes me miss her so much, it's like everyday I'm loosing her all over again." Kendall blinked fast, trying to stop the tears before they came.

"It's very hard Kendall. It's going to be awhile before you can do certain things without missing her. I'm sure you'll always miss her, but it will get a little easier as time goes on." Teagan placed a comforting hand on his knee. "Trust me."

"I'll believe it when it happens." Kendall replied.

"Kendall, what have you been doing since Jo died?"

"I haven't really been doing anything. What should I be doing? I can't just get over it that easy."

"I know Kendall. It's very hard. Have you ever tried doing something to harm yourself, or to try to kill yourself as well?"

"What do you mean, 'harm myself'?"

"I mean, cut yourself, burn yourself, anything considered hurting yourself."

"No, I haven't."

"Have you considered doing any of those things to yourself?"

"No."

"That's good. So, have you and Big Time Rush done anything new yet? Any songs you guys will be recording and releasing? A new tour? SOmething that could get your mind off of things?"

"No. We had been talking about doing a tour, but ever since Jo died, we haven't really talked more about it."

"Maybe it would be a good thing to talk about it in a week or so. You need to do something so that you can get your mind off Jo."

"I don't want to forget about her and I don't plan on it, so if that's what your getting at then you can just stop right there."

"That isn't at all what I'm suggesting Kendall. I just think ti would be best for you to do something to get Jo off your mind."

"I will eventually."

"Good. For now, just try doing stuff with your friends. Don't stay locked in your room all day." Teagan smiled at him again, her dimple standing out.

"My mom said that, huh?" Kendall grimaced.

Teagan giggled. "Yeah, she's really worried about you."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "She shouldn't be."

"It basically a mothers job to worry. Only be upset when they don't." Teagan stated. "Alright, Kendall our time is up. I believe I will be seeing you next week, so I will see you then." She smiled once again, and stood up. Kendall quickly stood up as well.

She held out her hand to him, and he shook it. "See you next week I guess." Kendall gave her a small half-smile.]

"Yep, you will. I'm going to walk with you out to your mom. I only talked to her over the phone, adn she wanted to meet me." Teagan told Kendall. "Plus, I get to go home for the weekend." Teagan started walking out, so Kendall followed her. He thought the building was laid out stupid, too many twists and turns kinda.

Kendall was kinda glad she was walking in front of him too, because she kinda had a nice butt. He could only imagine what JAmes would be like if he was here. Then Kendall imagined Jo smacking him on the head for whatever it was James would say, and Kendall got really depressed again. The minute he got home, he was watching the rest of the DVDs. He had to know what he did, and what everyone else had done.

* * *

_**I told you guys the update would be quick C: Sooooo I hope you like it... I just kinda threw in the therapist thing because it fell into my head... I have no idea if you can actually be a therapist that young, but ya know... jussst fanfiction..**_

_**I have soooo many ideas I want to work on, but I am NOT going to start a new story until this one is finished. NOPE. I'm going to work on the next chapter now because I love this story haha...**_

_**Longest chapter by the way, 3,ooo words exactly C:**_

_**What do you guys think about adding in Teagan? Like it or hate it? Let me know pretty pleaase**_

_**~TheFlyingGraysons**_


	6. Chapter 5

**Still don't own BTR or Th1rteen R3asons Why.**

* * *

***Bold ****means its on the DVD**.

_*Italics means its Jo's memory._

* * *

***TRIGGER IN LATER PART OF THE CHAPTER***

* * *

The minute Kendall walked into 2J, he went straight to his room. There was no way he was talking to his mom after she had pulled a stunt like that. The entire car ride home he had refused to talk to his mother, to mad that she thought taking him to a shrink would fix things! For Gods sake, the chick was only a few years older than him. What the hell good would it do him to talk to someone that was basically his age? If that was what his mom was concerned about, then he could talk to James, Carlos, or Logan! Not some shrink. No matter what his mom said, he wasn't going back. He didn't need to. Hopefully once he finished the tapes he would have closure as to why Jo had killed herself.

So as his usual routine, because that was what it seemed to becoming, he took the DVDs out and grabbed the player, then settled himself in with earbuds. Then, annoyed, he got up and locked the door to be sure no one would walk in on him. He sat back down and pressed play.

**Jo was sitting on her chair this time, hugging her knees to her chest. She looked pissed. **

**"So, yesterday was going to be a good day. I had been scheduled at Roque Records to talk to Griffin about signing with them, so I could start putting out albums. And maybe even do a duet with Big Time Rush. But as fucking usual, someone had to ruin it for me. There's always someone that has to ruin it when things start going good for me, it never fucking fails." Jo threw her hands up, and smacked them back down against the arms of her chair. **

**"Who ruined it this time? Reason number five everyone, Mercedes Griffin, daddy's little girl." Jo snorted. "Who would want to be daddy's little girl." Her eyes took on a faraway look, a hollowed pain setting in. She shook her heard. "So she was there when I was singing, and she really did not like me there."**

_I walked out of the recording booth, smiling at Griffin. "Did you like it?" I asked hopefully._

_He smiled slightly. "It was acceptable, acceptable enough to make me think it over with the rest of my advisers. We will get back to you in a few minutes, Miss Taylor." He patted one hand on my shoulder and walked out._

_I turned to see Mercedes, Griffin's daughter, sitting on a chair. When she noticed me looking, she got up and walked over. "So, you're Jo Taylor, star of New Town High, huh?"_

_I smiled. "Yep, that would be me. Are you a fan?"_

_"Oh, definitely!" Mercedes gushed, clasping her hands together. "But not because of you. God no. Your acting is _horrible_. You think you're all that, but your not. I have heard the things everyone is saying about you. How you cheat on Kendall all the time, whenever he's away. Fucking every guy in sight, yeah. That doesn't go over well with me. So if you think you can pull your little innocent act on me, or my daddy, you have another thing coming. You are _not_ getting signed to Roque Records." She snarled._

_My eyes widened and my mouth dropped. My heart was pounding. "No, Mercedes you don't understand. It's all rumors, I would never cheat on Kendall or do any of those things! I love him, and I'm not a hoe."_

_Mercedes rolled her eyes. "Oh please, I know a whore when I see one." She took her coffee off the table and held it out. Then, she splashed it all over herself. She screamed, letting the cup fall to the ground. It immediately stained her white mini dress. Griffin came running out._

_He was shocked. "Mercedes! What happened?!"_

_Mercedes pointed at me. "She, she, she threw my coffee on me! It burns!" She cried._

_Griffin turned towards me with fury in his eyes. "You can forget about getting a record deal with us. You are in huge trouble." Security ran in and made sure I didn't leave, while Mercedes was taken out of the room for help. I felt shocked. I couldn't believe that this was happening._

_After my lawyer was called, and talked to Griffin and his lawyer I was free to go. Thankfully I wasn't going to jail, but Griffin was suing me. My lawyer however had both him and Mercedes sign a confidentiality agreement which meant that they couldn't talk about what had happened with anyone. I couldn't believe how horrible the day had gone, it was just terrible._

_When something seems like it might finally go right with me, it goes wrong. I walked into my apartment, blinking back tears. i walked into the bathroom and wrenched my hair out of the fishtail braid it was in, then slid down the wall of the bathroom, pulling my knees tightly to m y chest. My throat locked up and I knew I was about to cry. I yanked on the ends of my hair, tears slipping out. It felt like I had literally no control in my life anymore. There was nothing at all I could control. I just... needed a way to control something. _

_I stood up, wiped my eyes, and stood in front of the mirror. I hated what I saw. My face was a red splotchy mess from crying, my hair was tangeled because I stupidly took it out of the braid, kept running my hands through it and yanked on it, my makeup was running from crying, and I was starting to get a belly. God, why would Kendall even _want _to date me? I wouldn't date myself. I... I think I'm starting to truly hate who I am._

_My eyes flitted over to a my pink Gillette Fusion razor. I deserved to be punished, the more that I think about it. And even if I didn't, which I know I did, I still feel like maybe it would make me feel better. But I shouldn't wreck my new razor for it. I had a better idea.  
_

_Walking out of the bathroom, I went straight for my desk where I kept a broken yet new pencil sharpener. It was a little plastic orange one, and I believe it had broken when I tried sharpening a pencil. I grabbed it and snapped the rest of the plastic casing off, leaving me with just the little screw and the razor. I walked back in the bathroom and tossed the unwanted pieces in the garbage. I rinsed off the razor in the sink and put it to my pale wrist. I hadn't been out in the sun lately, so whatever tanned skin I had was gone by now._

_I took a deep breath. Gently, I pressed it to my wrist. Nothing happened. I pressed harder and it started stinging, but it didn't really feel like it was actually cutting my skin. So, holding my breath, without much thought I quickly dug it in my skin and ripped it across my wrist. The effect was immediate. A stinging pain, and blood seeping out of the long cut. I stared at my wrist in wonder, looking at the cut. It was odd almost, seeing a mark scarring my pale skin. But I also felt the adrenaline rush, the feeling that wasn't sadness, it came with the slashing of my wrist. On what I guessed was an adrenaline high, I pressed in and did it again. Then again. I was about to do it once more when a knock sounded at my door._

_"Shit.." I muttered, running my wrist under water, biting my lip at the slight pain that came with rinsing my fresh cuts. There was another knock on the door, and I heard Kendall._

_"Jo, are you there?" I heard his muffled voice through the door. _

_"Ah, just a second." I called, and wrapped toilet paper around my wrist, pulled a black sweatshirt over my light blue long sleeve, which was stained with blood at the edge, and opened the door._

_Kendall was instantly concerned. "Jo, have you been crying?" He took hold of my wrists, not noticing my flinch as he grabbed my fresh scars._

_Oh fuck. I forgot I still had blotchy skin and my makeup had smeared all over the place, my hair tangled. "Uh, yeah. I um, was watching The Lovely Bones. It makes me cry every time." I lied straight to his face. He seemed to believe me. I looked into his eyes. Come on Kendall. Ask me whats really wrong. Tell me you know that something more is wrong with me, and you want to know what it is so you can make it all better._

_"Then why do you watch it?" He asked, giving me a half smile._

_I shrugged, feeling hopeless. "I guess I just like it."_

_Kendall wrapped an arm around me. "Come on, lets go to the arcade. The guys are waiting."_

_I smiled, feeling hollow. "Lets go."_

**"And that's how I lost a record deal and began cutting. I know it won't be the last time. I wish Kendall had noticed. Maybe he could have helped me, got me through it. But I also don't want to dump all this on him, because I may not deserve him, but I want him for as long as he'll take me. And Mercedes, you can get fucked you cunt ass ugly bitch. I hope you fucking die a motherfucking hole, and I hope karma comes and bites you straight in the fucking ass. Fuck you." Jo wiped the tears away, adn shut off her camera. **

Kendall shut off the DVD player, feeling a tightening in his chest. Jo had cut herself, and he hadn't noticed. Sure, he thought she had seemed a little off but he hand't assumed anythiing major. God, Jo thought she didn't deserve him? He didn't deserve her! If he ever saw Mercedes Griffin, he would flip shit.

* * *

_**Before you guys start throwing rocks at me, I want you to know that if I was able to update I would have. First, I had part of this written, and I started getting really bad migraines so I went to the doctor because I kept missing school because of them, and they did a brain scan but found nbothing, so they don't know what it is. Then I got sick with some dumb stupid flu that has been going around, so I was useless for four days. (AND THEY WERE FUCKING SCHOOL DAYS! :c) So because of that I was failing because I basically missed two weeks of school from migraines and sickness, and 2nd trimester was ending with me having all F's, so I had to do all that homework, and after I got sick my brand new laptop got a fucking virus so I had to deal with that shit, and then when I was going to type Google Chrome got deleted off my computer somehow, and I finally got it back in and I managed to get at least D's in all my classes so even though that sucked I wasn't failing anymore.**_

_**And that is why I haven't updated in FOREVER. **__**But now everything is back to normal so updates will become regular again. **_

_**I will try at least once if not twice a week updating C: **_

_**If any of you actually read my explanation, I hope you understand... So I have not forgotten or given up on this story, I have actually just had a series of nasty events that have prevented me from updating. But now I should be back to normal *smiles widely***_

_**2,028 words =)**_

_**mmkay, bye.**_

_**~TheFlyingGraysons**_


	7. Chapter 6

**Still don't own BTR or Th1rteen R3asons Why.**

* * *

***Bold ****means its on the DVD**.

_*Italics means its Jo's memory._

* * *

_**"And that's how I lost a record deal and began cutting. I know it won't be the last time. I wish Kendall had noticed. Maybe he could have helped me, got me through it. But I also don't want to dump all this on him, because I may not deserve him, but I want him for as long as he'll take me. And Mercedes, you can get fucked you cunt ass ugly bitch. I hope you fucking die a motherfucking hole, and I hope karma comes and bites you straight in the fucking ass. Fuck you." Jo wiped the tears away, adn shut off her camera. **_

_Kendall shut off the DVD player, feeling a tightening in his chest. Jo had cut herself, and he hadn't noticed. Sure, he thought she had seemed a little off but he hand't assumed anythiing major. God, Jo thought she didn't deserve him? He didn't deserve her! If he ever saw Mercedes Griffin, he would flip shit._

* * *

Kendall layed back in bed, setting the DVD player aside. He rubbed a hand across his face. Why was he on those tapes? Was it just the fact that he never noticed any of this? That wasn't the case though, he actually had heard some of the rumors that had gone around, but he hadn't believed them, because they were just that. Rumors. He would never hold any rumor against Jo, especially when it was so unbelievable. Jo wouldn't hurt him like that, and he knew it.

A sudden pounding lit in his forehead. Flashes of bright lights, yelling, crying, and a fuzzy mind hit his head. One thing in particular surfaced. Jo's tear streaked face.

Kendall jerked up in surprise. What was that? Was it a dream he possibly suppressed? Had he maybe dreamed it after Jo's death, and flashes of it was coming back? If that was the case, Kendall wasn't going to pursue it any farther. If it was so bad that his mind felt the need to suppress it, then he shouldn't go after it.

Now he had a raging headache. He felt like he should probably go do something, go out into the world, do _something_ to feel alive, feel something besides the anxiety he felt whenever he _could_ be watching the DVDs. Sad thing is, he knew until he finished them, he wouldn't be able to do much but worry about them. And if he didn't find out what he did soon, he would go crazy and sick with worry, and fear. Worry about what he did, and if it hadn't appeared yet how horrible it must have been. Fear because what if he was number thirteen, and he had drug Jo over the edge. What would he do then if that was it?

Running a hand through his hair, almost as if he could just shake the thoughts off by doing that, Kendall decided that he would just watch the rest of the discs until they were over. He put disc number six in, and pressed play.

**Jo this time was sitting cross legged on the floor, her back leaning on her bed. She cleared her throat. "So uh, today's story won't be too long. Guess I don't really feel all that much into talking at the moment. I know, I know guys. You probably don't think it's fair how you don't get to hear all the dirty details of seemingly harmless people. Okay, maybe The Jennifers seem bitchy, but who _honestly_ would'a thougth one of them helped drive a person to suicide? The rest of them though, it had to have been a shock. I mean, sure Lucy comes off as a bitch, but if she likes you, she wont hurt you. Anyways, I think I'm getting ahead of myself. So, guess I should get on with it."**

**"Logan Mitchell, reason number six. Shocker, isn't it? Well, they do always say it's the quiet ones. I guess in this case it's the quiet, nerdy ones. No offense Hortense, wait, actually, who cares if I offend you?! You can't call out a dead girl now can you?" Jo laughed. "So, I'm sure you all are wondering what poor little Loges could do. Honestly, it is kinda shocking for anyone whose known Logan for more than two minutes. But I'm guessing some people will do anything for a little popularity."**

_I sat on the couch in 2J, waiting for Kendall to come back from an interview he had scheduled with J-14 talking about the upcoming Big Time Rush album. _

_"Hey Jo." Logan greeted me, holding a glass of what looked like red Kool-Aid. _

_"Hey Logan. How's it going?" I asked, smiling at him._

_He shrugged. "Alright. Here, want some Kool-Aid?" He asked, holding the glass out to me._

_"Sure, thanks Logan!" I took the glass from him, and took a gulp. Logan stood there watching. I took another sip. It tasted pretty good. "This is really good Logan, did you make this?" I asked. All of a sudden I felt light headed and fuzzy. My vision was getting blurry. "Logan, wassgoinon?" I slurred. Logan loomed over me, and my vision went black._

_-A little bit later-_

_I felt something brushing against my breast. I forced my eyes open to see Dak Zevon wearing only his boxers, and me completely naked underneath him. Instincts kicked in and I screamed, surprising not only Dak but myself with the shrillness. _

_"What the fuck.." Dak muttered, his eyes narrowing at me._

_I started punching and kicking, finally getting him off me. Once up, i spotted my dress laying on the chair and I grabbed it quick and through it on. Dak grabbed me around the waist and tried to drag me back, and I kicked and scratched him. Panicked, I bit into his arm that had wrapped around my mouth. He swore, an let go of me. I ran off like a bat out of hell. _

_I must have looked crazy, running wildly while looking over my shoulder continuously. I bumped into someone hard. I looked up to see Logan staring at me, shocked. The memory of earlier flooded into my mind._

_"You drugged me." I realized. "You drugged me and took me to Dak, didn't you?" My voice rose. "Why! Why would you do that?! What have I done to you!"_

_Logan stuttered and Camille walked up next to him with her arms crossed. "Christ Jo, are fucking high or something? Can you take your dumbass out of here?"_

_I glared at Logan, tears in my eyes. "I can't believe you Logan. I hate you and you better stay away form me!" I wanted so badly to hurt him, maybe punch him in the face, or do something, but I just didn't have the energy to. I ran to the elevator, and then to my apartment. First thing I did was take a shower, and then change into a tee-shirt and pajama pants. I just sat on my bed, numb. I couldn't even begin to process what had just happened. And the worst part is, even if I told no one would believe me._

**"I think another thing about the situation that wasn't fair was the fact that I didn't even know what had happened to me. Obviously, I could've went from person to person until I got to Dak. I mean, I was completely naked under the guy! Sure he had his boxers on, but he may have just put them on after he did things to me. I'll never even know." Jo wiped her eyes, looking tired.**

**"Logan, I don't understand why you would do this to me. You fucking drugged me and then sent me off to be raped. I'm sorry for whatever I did that caused you to hate me. But you know what? I hope it haunts you that you won't ever get to say your sorry to me for what you've done. You'll live with this for the rest of your life. Have fun with that. I won't be living with it, because I'll be dead." With that, Jo shut off the screen. Insert disc #7 flashed across the screen.**

Kendall sat there, staring at the blank screen. He so badly wanted to go hurt Logan, but he couldn't until he knew what it was he did. But Kendall knew right then and there that he would never be able to trust Logan again. He may never actually be able to look at Logan again. Kendall swallowed the fury that threatened to swallow him, and, knowing it would distract him from wanting to kill Logan, reached for the next disc. Oh, Kendall was going to hurt Logan, but only after he found out what he himself did to Jo.

* * *

_**HAI! So I hope you all liked this chapter, I'd really like it if you told me what you thought of it! I'm writing next chapter tomorrow, I finally have everything figured out so I can't wait to write the chapters!(: I would start the next chapter right now, but its 12:35 am and I'm actually tired, which is nice cuz I don't normally sleep till like 3 or so... Yah I'm pretty happy I'm actually tired, so Imma go to bed and maybe if I get it done and crazy shit doesn't pop outta nowhere, the next chapter will be posted by Saturday or Sunday(: I know its short, but next will be longer and its short cuz I'm tired, but at least its in the thousands, 1,670...**_

_**Could I maybe get at least 5 reviews for this chapter? What do you guys think Kendall did?(:**_

_**Thank you to November 2 1990, Guest, and Smileyface2508 for reviewing last chapter!(:**_

_**Until laterrr, bye .**_

_**~TheFlyingGraysons**_


	8. Chapter 7

**Still don't own BTR or Th1rteen R3asons Why.**

* * *

***Bold ****means its on the DVD**.

_*Italics means its Jo's memory._

* * *

_**"I think another thing about the situation that wasn't fair was the fact that I didn't even know what had happened to me. Obviously, I could've went from person to person until I got to Dak. I mean, I was completely naked under the guy! Sure he had his boxers on, but he may have just put them on after he did things to me. I'll never even know." Jo wiped her eyes, looking tired.**_

_**"Logan, I don't understand why you would do this to me. You fucking drugged me and then sent me off to be raped. I'm sorry for whatever I did that caused you to hate me. But you know what? I hope it haunts you that you won't ever get to say your sorry to me for what you've done. You'll live with this for the rest of your life. Have fun with that. I won't be living with it, because I'll be dead." With that, Jo shut off the screen. Insert disc #7 flashed across the screen.**_

_Kendall sat there, staring at the blank screen. He so badly wanted to go hurt Logan, but he couldn't until he knew what it was he did. But Kendall knew right then and there that he would never be able to trust Logan again. He may never actually be able to look at Logan again. Kendall swallowed the fury that threatened to swallow him, and, knowing it would distract him from wanting to kill Logan, reached for the next disc. Oh, Kendall was going to hurt Logan, but only after he found out what he himself did to Jo._

* * *

Before Kendall could hit play on the disc, someone knocked on his door. "Who is it?" Kendall called, setting the DVD player aside.

"It's Carlos!" The voice called.

Kendall walked over to the door and opened it. Carlos was smiling at him.

"Wanna come see a movie with us? You can pick which one." Carlos looked at him hopefully. Kendall felt bad, but knew he wouldn't be able to sit through a movie with Logan without killing him, and he wouldn't be concentrating on the movie anyway.

"Carlos, I'd love to, but there's a lot going on. Maybe some other time." Kendall said apologetically, feeling bad when Carlos's face fell.

"Are you sure Kendall? I don't mean to sound annoying, but you haven't really talked to anyone since... Well, you know.." He trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

"I know Carlos.. I'm really trying to get through it. But don't worry about me, okay? I'm trying." Kendall assured Carlos. He really didn't want Carlos worrying about him, because he knew that Carlos would because he cares about his friends deeply.

Not looking real convinced, Carlos nodded slowly. "Okay Kendall. If you change your mind, just let us know."

Kendall nodded, and Carlos stepped out of the doorway. "Have a good time at the movie." Kendall told Carlos, and shut the door. He sat back down on his bed, and was about to press play when a thought hit him.

What if Carlos was on the discs? What innocent, sweet, wouldn't hurt a fly Carlos did something to Jo? What if what he did was worse than what Logan did? Kendall shook his head; if he kept thinking like this soon he would be thinking the mailman back in Minnesota had something to do with it! He shouldn't assume anything about anyone until he knew for sure. So, with that in mind, Kendall pressed play and put in his earbuds.

**Jo sat on her bed, wrapped in a blanket, her hair wet. "Um, I guess I should talk now, huh. So, I won't be on New Town High anymore. We won't be picking up filming until the beginning of next year, so I can pretty much guess that I'll have something figured out, whether it be quitting or.. well, obviously if you're watching this then we all know what happened. Hey, it's almost as though everyone whose watching this is in on a little secret, huh? I mean, maybe at some you all can have a meeting about this. Laugh about how you all made Jo Taylor kill herself. Or, if you all aren't completely heartless, then you'll feel bad and maybe even hope that I can forgive all of you."**

**Looking at the camera solemnly, she continued. "I'm not at that place yet. I doubt I ever will be. Hopefully, I will. I don't want to die with all this hatred, both towards you people and me, inside. Anyways, once again I'm getting off topic. Now, onto what this is about. Reason number seven everyone, Jett Stetson. For any of you who know of the 'relationship'," Jo made quotations, "Me and Jett have, this won't come as a shock. But whatever, it still shouldn't have happened."**

_I grabbed my bag, yanking down my long sleeves quickly so no one could see any of my cuts. Now I had to worry about that, but at least it helped me release my anger and such easily. I hooked my bag over my shoulder and was about to leave the set of New Town High when Jett called to me._

_"Jo, let's go over the script one last time, okay?" Jett smiled, flashing his annoyingly perfect shiny white teeth._

_I really didn't want to, but knowing him if I didn't he'd complain to his agent or someone and I'd get in trouble for 'not cooperating' with my co-worker. "Sure, where do you wanna go over them?" I asked, sighing._

_Jett smiled. It creeped me out, the way he smiled. "Let's go in the room we use for table reads. I doubt anyone's in there." _

_I led the way, and once we were in the room, Jett locked the door. I turned to him questioningly._

_"Why'd you lock the door?" I asked, setting my bag down._

_"Well Jo, I figure we could either do this the easy way, or the hard way. I want you. So I'm gonna have you." Jett's eyes glinted with lust._

_I felt my heart start __jackhammering. I couldn't take Jett, he _was_ stronger than me. S I tried to scream, but he must have known what I was about to do because he lunged towards me, and punched me in the throat. While I gasped for air, he took a roll of duck tape out of somewhere and with one quick motion, just as I was regaining my breath, he stuck a piece that went from one side of my face to the other, covering my mouth. I tried to scream but it was too muffled, so I tried smacking Jett. He held my hands down, then layed down on top of me, making it so I couldn't kick him, all I could do was squirm._

_His hands were clumsy as they started groping my breasts, reaching up inside my shirt and under my bra. He was rough, and breathing heavy on top of me. Tears started slipping out of my eyes as I tried screaming for help, squirming and trying to get away from him. His hand started traveling downward, towards my jeans. My eyes widened and I tried harder to get away. One hand still groping and grabbing at my breast, his other unbuttoning and slipping inside my jeans. _

_More frantically, I tried getting away. I bucked my hips to try throwing him off, but he seemed to enjoy it, grinning and moaning slightly. I knocked into the table, causing something to crash and break. He continued slipping his hand in my underwear. There was a shout, and the door was being unlocked. QUick as a flash, Jett was off of me, yanking my shirt down, ripping the duck tape off my mouth, and grabbing me to my feet. I screamed from the pain of duck tape being ripped off my skin, putting a hand to my mouth, then buttoning up my pants and moving far away from Jett._

_An old janitor opened the door, looking worried. I could've kissed him. _

_"Is everything alright in here? I heard a crash, and then a scream." The man drawled with a slight southern accent, his old warm blue eyes crinkling in concern._

_Jett gave off a dazzling smile. "Oh yeah, we were just practicing and she bumped into the table. The crash scared her so she screamed. We'll be going now." With that, he gripped my wrist and pulled me from the room._

_I yanked my arm from him and started running, but he grabbed me again._

_He bent his head down next to my face. "You say one word about what happened and I'll tell everyone about your cuts." Jett yanked my sleeve up, exposing the three angry red slashes marring my pale skin. "You cutter bitch, I hope you die. And I'll be sure to spin it so it looks like you're the attention seeking whore. Plus, you wouldn't want perfect Kendall to know you aren't so perfect now would you? And besides, who would believe you?" Jett sneered, dropping my arm in disgust._

_I backed away in horror, and took off. This time, he didn't stop me. He knew I wouldn't say anything now. The minute I got home, I showered. I felt dirty, and I kept feeling his hot breath on my skin, his rough hands grabbing at my breasts, him on top of me. I started trembling, it brought back memories, things I didn't want to remember. Another man, another time. The person I should have been able to trust- I broke off my thoughts, not wanting to think anymore._

_Instead, I sat in the shower and cried until I was numb. And then I added a few more marks to my skin._

**"And that's how I ended up here. Talking to a fucking computer screen about the things I should be able to talk to _someone_ about. But I can't, so I just sit here hoping for things to get better." Jo's lip trembled and her eyes filled up with tears. "Or maybe I'll just die and everything will be over with." Jo covered her face with her hands, and her shoulders started shaking. "I just want my life to get better! Why does this have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve all this hatred?" Jo cried, her voice filled with raw pain. "I wish I knew."**

_**Insert disc #8 **_**flashed across the screen.****  
**

Kendall sat in shock. He reached up to his face and felt wetness. He was crying. He knew why. He should have protected Jo, he should have seen it! He should have paid attention to the rumors that he heard, instead of assuming Jo never heard them and that she was okay! Why was he so stupid?! If he had done something, maybe Jo would still be here today. Is that why Kendall was on the list? Did Jo somehow know Kendall didn't comfort her about the rumors, tell her they weren't true? But he didn't want to take the chance of Jo finding out about rumors she hadn't known of.

Kendall decided he had had enough of the DVDs for tonight. He got up and unlocked his door so the guys or his mom wouldn't be worried about his door being locked. First thing tomorrow he would finish them, but for now, Kendall needed to shut off his thoughts with music and sleep. He plugged in his iPod, set the DVD player on the ground, and stuck in his earbuds, shuffling his playlist.

* * *

_**Hiiii c: so, things for Jo are getting worse.. I hope you guys thought this chapter was okay, I think I'll have the next posted on maybe Monday or Tuesday because things are really getting intense now haha... Next chapter, would you like to see the next reason,or a run in with someone like Logan, Jett, Mercedes, Camille, Lucy, Travis, or Jennifer 2? Or do you want that to wait until after you hear Kendalls reason so he at least knows what he did? Let me know C: **_

_**Next reason is someone who came in before, in one of the earlier chapters, any guesses?**_

_**I'm so happy because you guys gave me five reveiws last time, thank you soooo much! Could I maybe get five again? It won't stop me from updating, but it'd be nice to get that many again..(:**_

_**I'm hoping to maybe have 50 reviews when this story is over. There's at least six chapters left, maybe more if I do an epilogue or something.**_

_**Oh, and if I ever did a chapter that had to do with the plot but didn't have a reason with it, I would do a double update where I'd post that chapter and a reason chapter with it. **_

_**Let me know about next chapter though.. A few oretty intense chapters are going to be coming up soon C;**_

_**2,020 words not including the Authors Note C:**_

_**Well, that's the end of this Authors Note because I'm freaking tired even though it's only 1:47 AM...**_

_**Thank you to all that reviewed!**_

_**November 2 1990: I agree about the innocent hting, its so true! You got one thing right though, between the two guesses c; You'll find out soon what it is though..**_

_**rosslynchR5foreverlover: I like your username haha.. I'm glad you liked it c:**_

_**Rusher: Thank you! C:**_

_**Logansmyrock: Yep, it was a bad idea... Jo can't get a brake, and it only gets worse now..**_

_**Bye Guys, thanks fo rall the reviews, favorites, and follows! They mean so much to me!**_

_**~TheFlyingGraysons**_


	9. Chapter 8

**Still don't own BTR or Th1rteen R3asons Why.**

* * *

***Bold ****means its on the DVD**.

_*Italics means its Jo's memory._

* * *

_Kendall sat in shock. He reached up to his face and felt wetness. He was crying. He knew why. He should have protected Jo, he should have seen it! He should have paid attention to the rumors that he heard, instead of assuming Jo never heard them and that she was okay! Why was he so stupid?! If he had done something, maybe Jo would still be here today. Is that why Kendall was on the list? Did Jo somehow know Kendall didn't comfort her about the rumors, tell her they weren't true? But he didn't want to take the chance of Jo finding out about rumors she hadn't known of._

_Kendall decided he had had enough of the DVDs for tonight. He got up and unlocked his door so the guys or his mom wouldn't be worried about his door being locked. First thing tomorrow he would finish them, but for now, Kendall needed to shut off his thoughts with music and sleep. He plugged in his iPod, set the DVD player on the ground, and stuck in his earbuds, shuffling his playlist._

* * *

Once Kendall woke up, the earbuds were in and the disc was spinning. He pressed play and saw Jo again. he couldn't help think how sad it was that he was really only getting to know the real Jo now. The Jo he had thought he knew like the back of his hand was nothing like this depressed, angry, bitter, self loathing Jo he was coming to know as The Real Jo. He really had never given any thought of what Jo could have been going through, he just assumed she was alright. But she wasn't, and it killed him to know it.

**Jo was facing the camera with her legs sprawled out in front of her. She smiled bitterly at the camera. "I'm done trusting people. I will not be opening up to anyone, I can't trust anyone anymore. I'm not doing it anymore. Now, the reason why lies within a certain brunette that is currently getting closer and closer to the sweetest member of Big Time Rush. Any guesses?" Jo paused. "Nope? Seems as though theres crikets out here tonight. Well, any ways, the person I'm talking about would be Stephanie King. Oh, did a light bulb go off in some your heads? Yep, she was in these discs before. And yeah, she turned out to hate me. And perhaps if some of you dig back in your minds you can remember me and her hanging out for a good two weeks. But well, as they say, all good things are never going to last. Reason nuber eight, Stephanie King."**

_I walked into the lobby of the Palmwoods, hearing the whispers as I went by. I hated coming down here without Kendall, because at least when Kendall is with me they don't say much, just laugh. But I hear the whispers of whoreslutbitchfatuglynogoodcunt as I walk past them._

_"Hey, Jo!" I hear a girl call. I ignored them, just walking so I wouldn't hear the insults._

_Someone grabbed my arm. I jerked away and spun around to see Stephanie King smiling at me. _

_"Jo, I called your name. Didn't you hear me?" She asked, still smiling._

_I blinked. "Why are you talking to me?" _

_She bit her lip, looked at her feet then back at me. "Okay, I know when I came back we got off to a rough start. And I know I was really unfair to you, believing what that Travis guy said. But I want to make it up to you. How about we go have dinner tonight, my treat?" She asked, smiling.  
_

_I felt my facce strech into a grin, I brushed a blonde lock of hair out of my face. Finally, someone who wasn't mean to me and wanted to be friends, even wanted to make up something mean she ahd done in the past. "I'd love to."_

**"Now of course, warning bells should have been going off in my mind, but of course I was too happy to finally have a friend other than Kendall, so I ignored it. Sure, I kinda felt something was off at first, But she was a great actress, and it led me to tell her my secrets. At least, most of them. First out came how Lucy made the pictures, then came how I've been struggling with an eating disorder since I was a young age, then how I used to have to see a therapist when I was thirteen until I turned fifteen. Next out came how I was cutting. And man, you should have seen the gleam in her eyes when I told her this stuff. Now, if any of you think I'm stupid for teling her this, let me remind you that its because of you all that I had no friends. So I was happy to the point my teeth chattered that I had a friend." Jo sighed.**

**"So, out came the secrets. I thought I could trust her, I thought she was actually my friend. BUt then came the day that I found out she had spread all my secrets around."  
**

_I walked into the lobby to see people laughing at me. I ignored them, instead walking out to where I was meeting Stephanie at the pool. I adjusted my purple thin light long sleeve shirt and hiked up my denim short shorts. I did't see Stephanie anywhere. I texted her._

_hey steph, where r u? im at the pool waiting.._

_She didn't text back. I waited for ten minutes, and then the Jennifers walked over._

_"So Jo, cut yourself lately?" Jennifer 1 sneered, flipping her hair._

_"Purge lately?" Jennifer 2 smirked, putting a hand on her hip._

_"Talk to a shrink lately?" Jennifer 3 snickered, crossing her arms smugly._

_I felt like ice had settled in my veins. Stephanie walked out and stood next to the Jennifers. "Yeah Jo, have you?"_

_They laughed at the same time and so did the rest of the people standing around. I slowly stood up, and while Stephanie was laughing, I smacked her across the face and pushed her into the pool, then bolted to my apartment. I cried, and then slit my arms some more hoping the pain would go away. This time it only increased._

**"So, I was betrayed by Stephanie. I just don't understand why you did it Stephanie. Wasn't I good enough? Or maybe you're kust so much of a bitch you figured why not tell all of Jo's secrets? Well fuck you."**

**The video shut off. _Insert disc #9 _flashed.**

Kendall swallowed the rage he had for Stephanie. He almost considered just not wathing nay more videos because he seems to only get pissed off while watching them, but he knew he needed to watch them. So, he inserted the next disc.

* * *

_**Next chapter will be longer, I promise! Its just I started typing this late, and I have to go to bed but I wanted you guys to have your new chapter so this shit pile was created! I'm sorry, next chapter is going to be better!**_

_**I love you all so much for reviewing and reading, and next chpter will be posted tomorrow or Thursday! Sorry this one sucks and is short!**_

_**Plese review? c:**_

_**~TheFlyingGraysons**_


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